There is a problem in the local area with bullying and we are looking to hear from parents about this so we can highlight and look for ideas about what to do to alleviate the problem for everyone. If anyone has any comments to make, stories to tell or any ideas please click here to email or by posting on the forum by clicking here

We had an email from Tania a local parent who said:

On Friday 11th April, my daughter left school, as we were talking to her grandmother about her day a girl came up to her and punched her on the arm. I immediately stepped between them and asked this girl what the problem was and not to touch my daughter again. I speak some Spanish as this is our second year here in Spain. Apparently another boy had told her that my daughter purposely tripped her 5yr old brother over on the way out of school. I asked my daughter if this was true and she said definitely no. This girl continued to scream and shout in my face. I asked her to go in to the school and speak with the teachers to find out what had happened or to call her mother and sort this out; she was becoming hysterical and continued to shout in my face. I asked my mother in law to take my daughter to the car for her own safety as a crowd of other children had gathered, some I recognised as causing trouble in the past. They joined in shouting and attempting to intimidate me, by saying they will look for me and kill me, and it was only because I was English. I walked in to the school and asked the caretaker to help me. He held up his hands and walked away.

These children followed me, pushing and shoving and spitting at me. I walked into the school and to the office of the headmistress. They followed me up the stairs and continued to threaten me. I told them I was an adult and not to talk to me in that way. Eventually the headmistress was able to talk to me and the children ran back down the stairs. I was very angry and upset, I told her what had happened, and she asked me to get my daughter. On our return my daughter explained what had happened and gave two names of boys she knew. She didn’t know the names of the other children. The headmistress said she will speak to them on Monday and sort it out.  

For two years I have defended the el Chorro School in Alhaurin el Grande, but now I feel very angry that this has happened and that this is the mentality of the children and adults within that small community. No other person helped me or tried to get these children to stop. And other English parents advised me to walk away. Perhaps this is what I should have done but my daughter has to return to school on Monday morning with these children. Both my child and I have a right not to be abused and bullied in this way. I know other incidences when this has happened and the parents have immediately taken their child out of school. There needs to be more awareness on this problem, however there appears there is very little we can do about it.

Tania has sent us an update on the situation:

Monday 14th April 2008 my daughter returned to school, we had spoken at length over the weekend, and she felt confident in returning. The headmistress came to her class room and called my daughter and another boy who had been part of the trouble to the front with the teacher. Both children explained what had happened and what had gone on. The headmistress said there was to be no more trouble and that this was the end of it. The other boy said that on Friday this girl who attacked my child would be there again and waiting for her. The teacher said that he was to tell this girl no more fighting and how it was a misunderstanding and was to stop. My daughter appears confident about this and said that even a girl in her class who she doesn’t normally play with said she would stick up for her if any thing more happened. 

For the last two days I have watched my daughter at break time (for my own piece of mind) and there have been no problems. I have seen that there are 6/7 teachers in the playground at all times. Also they have a system where someone from each class acts as a mediator in case of problems at break.  Hopefully this is making the children more aware of bullying and making them feel responsible for good behaviour and gaining respect. I spoke to my daughter’s teacher and she said that everything had been fine in the class room, and she didn’t think there would be anymore problems. The headmistress saw me in passing and did actually ask if everything was ok now, I said it was certainly better. The other thing my daughter did was to write a letter about how she felt after the incident and seeing the children become abusive towards her and me.

She also highlighted that every person has the right to feel safe and not be hurt. I hope this has had the desired effect with the teacher. It was another friend who advised me to do this after her son was bullied at another school last year. They were strong enough to stop the problems. I have to wait and see and trust my daughter’s confidence in her friends and teacher.

We have had a further email regarding this from Denise the grandmother of the child involved.

My name is Denise and I am the grandmother of the child involved in the attack outside El Chorro School on Friday the 11th of April. Firstly I have to say that I have never witnessed such disrespect to an adult in all my life as what my daughter-in-law had to take from the Spanish girl involved in attacking my granddaughter. It was a very disturbing experience to say the least.

After reading Tania’s response on the 14th I am still concerned to the fact that I think it sounds like more than bullying when a statement was made to the teacher that the Spanish girl was going to return this Friday to do the same again I would call this threatening behavior. In my opinion after this statement was made I think the school should now involve the police and highlight the situation. I know my daughter-in-law wants the situation defused as quickly as possible, but I am still a very worried grandmother who lives many miles away and concerned for my family’s safety. 

I also live in a Spanish community in Tenerife and have a grandson who goes to a Spanish school there, and you have asked for ideas how to stop this bullying, well in his school they have a liaison officer from the police who come into the school every couple of months and give the children a talk on law and order in the community. Also they have 2 teachers on the school gates to make sure that children are safely met by their parents, I know that there was a caretaker in the playground but he was not interested in anything that was going on and did not intervene in anyway, what is his job?

Maybe el Chorro could try this and see if it has the desired effect after all they have nothing to loose.

We have had an update from tania with hopefully positive news.

I hope this is my final update, with the problems we suffered over the last couple of weeks. My daughter has remained confident through out and I have tried not to let my apprehension affect her. The girl who hit my daughter threatened to return last Friday after school, my husband and I waited earlier than usual in case she did arrive to cause trouble. The local high school finishes earlier on a Friday and she did go to the school and entered the playground. I followed in to make sure she wasn’t waiting out of sight for my daughter. She wasn’t at my daughter’s classroom and I couldn’t see where she went. We went outside and meet my husband. They walked back to the car, and I waited to see what she did upon leaving the school. She must have been meeting her friend who hadn’t advanced to the next year, as they left the playground, I made sure she saw me, and she in turn put her head down and walked away.

I feel more confident after this as I wanted her to know that we won’t be intimidated and scared away. I spoke to my daughters teacher this Monday after school (in Spanish which was greatly appreciated by her). I asked generally about my daughters progress then said that I had thought about moving my daughter to another school. She said she didn’t want me to do that, that the school need more children like my daughter. She was glad we had gone to the school and asked for them to sort this out. She accepted that changes do take some time but that things were improving, and I have to agree that over the past two years I had seen some improvement. Regarding the problem of supervision upon the children leaving school at 2pm. She understood my concerns, particularly when the caretaker had refused to help me, and said that the head teacher had asked the town hall for police supervision at the gate but they hadn’t done anything about it. I asked if the teachers would not supervise and she said it was hard as most teachers feel that at 2pm their job is finished and they go straight home.

I certainly feel happier following this talk, and know that the school are aware of certain problems; perhaps they could be more forceful and make some more changes: including going back to the town hall and asking for the police supervision. Unless anyone else knows how this can be achieved.

It is positive that the school are acknowledging there is a problem let's hope they can go further and get the supervision needed.

Let us know your views on this and also if you have an ideas to resolve these problems. You can either email us by clicking here or by posting on the forum by clicking here